


i would hold you for a million years

by drfitzmonster



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Praise Kink, Shower Sex, gentle!Cat, sad!Kara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 06:32:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8390902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drfitzmonster/pseuds/drfitzmonster
Summary: Cat comes home to a despondent girlfriend and tries to comfort her the best she can.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This idea had been floating around in my head for a bit, and when the prompt for October came out it was like a sign and I knew I had to write it. 
> 
> It is probably the most self-indulgent thing I've ever written. It was very cathartic and I cried a lot. I hope it resonates with some of you.
> 
> This fic is officially dedicated to people with depression, or anyone who has ever felt like everything is too much.

“What in god’s name are you doing in here?” Cat asked, flipping on the bathroom light. 

Kara was sitting in the bathtub, still in her supersuit and cape, her knees pulled up to her chest. Her body convulsed with a heavy sob and she looked up at Cat. Kara’s face was covered in dirt, but two paths beneath her eyes had been washed clean by her tears. 

“I thought it was appropriate, considering…” Kara lifted one hand to make a dismissive gesture toward her own face, and then wrapped her arms tighter around her knees, burying her head between them. She continued to weep, every once and awhile letting out an anguished, almost inhuman sound that just about broke Cat’s heart.

Cat knelt on the floor next to the bathtub, as close as she could get to Kara. She reached out tentatively, pulling gently on Kara’s arm. When she did not budge, was in fact solid and immovable as a brick wall, Cat muttered a quiet “please” that caused Kara to soften and relent.

Cat reached for Kara’s hand, taking it gently and pressing kisses to her knuckles. She coaxed Kara’s hand, balled tightly into a fist, open, and kissed her fingertips softly. Cat brushed her lips along Kara’s fingers, moving to lay one final lingering kiss on Kara’s palm before grasping Kara’s wrist gently.

“Can you talk to me, sweetheart?” Cat asked softly, rubbing her thumb over the back of Kara’s hand.

After a long moment, Kara looked up, still crying. “I couldn’t save all of them,” she blubbered pathetically. “I can never save them all.”

Cat reached up to gently cup the side of Kara’s face, sighing as her fingertips moved over a twig tangled in her hair. She stood with a soft groan and reached down to pull Kara up with her. “Come on, darling. Let’s get you out of your suit.”

Reluctantly, Kara stood, steadying herself on Cat’s arm as she stepped out of the bathtub. She then let Cat begin the complicated process of removing her supersuit. She sniffled loudly as Cat released the catches at her shoulders to detach her cape and let it fall. She would wash it and the rest of the suit later, but right now she had more important matters to attend to.

Kara began to weep again, curling in on herself and leaning heavily into Cat. “I just try so hard,” she said over a shuddering breath, “but it’s never enough. I’m not enough.” Kara let another sob rack her body, clutching at Cat for support.

“No, no, my darling,” Cat reached up to cradle Kara’s face in her hands, kissing her chastely. “Of course you’re enough. You’re more than enough.” Cat planted soft kisses all over Kara’s face, wishing she could simply kiss Kara’s pain away.

Kara continued weeping, while Cat cooed and stroked her hair. 

“You can’t save everyone,” Cat said, pressing her forehead to Kara’s. “You’ll never be able to save them all.”

“I can’t stop thinking about them, Cat. All I can see when I close my eyes is their faces.”

“But Kara, you’ve saved so many people.  _ So many _ . Every person on this planet, even. That has to be enough.” Cat reached down to Kara’s right hip, releasing the hooks and zipper that were holding Kara’s skirt up. When she did, it fell to the ground with a soft thud.

Cat hated seeing Kara like this. The Girl of Steel may be bulletproof, but she was still so very fragile. It took everything Cat had in her not to start crying. Later, when she was alone, she would finally let go and allow herself to feel it, but right now she needed to keep her feelings in check, for Kara.

Cat knelt down, slowly unzipping and removing each of Kara’s boots, allowing her fingers to scrape along the backs of Kara’s muscular calves as she did so. Once the boots were tossed aside, Cat moved her hands slowly up Kara’s legs, all the way to the waistband of Kara’s tights. She hooked her fingers and pulled them down, stopping only to kiss Kara’s kneecaps reverently. 

The only thing left after the tights was Kara’s leotard. Cat unsnapped the buttons at Kara’s shoulders, pulling the sleeves down slowly, running her fingers along Kara’s skin as she went. As she removed the thumb loops from Kara’s hands Cat paused to kiss each palm. She then pulled the leotard down past Kara’s hips and let it fall onto the tile floor.  

Kara remained in just her signature blue sports bra and briefs. Stripped of her regalia like this she seemed so small. She was curled in on herself, back bowed, shoulders hunched forward. All of the confidence and bravery— all of her heroic qualities— had been sucked right out of her. All that was left was a sad, scared little girl who was overwhelmed by the world and completely unsure of her place in it.

Kara crumpled and fell to the ground in a heap, quickly curling into the fetal position, her knees drawn up to her chest. “I’m sorry,” she muttered. “I’m so sorry, Cat.”

Cat sank to the floor, cursing the manufacturer of her skirt for making it so damned restrictive. It made it difficult for Cat to maneuver herself so she could properly wrap around Kara’s form, but she did her best, kneeling and bending at the waist so her torso was covering Kara as much as it could. 

“Why are you sorry? You have nothing to apologize for.” Cat said, gently rubbing Kara’s back.

Kara, still curled tightly in a ball, shifted so her head was resting in Cat’s lap, her hands clutching at Cat’s legs, grip almost painfully tight. “I put you through so much.” She sniffled. “I keep you up all night worrying if I’ll be ok, wondering if I’m alive or dead.”

“I knew what I was signing up for when we started dating, Kara. I am not so selfish as to try and keep you from the world that needs you.” Cat sighed, running a hand through Kara’s normally vibrantly shining hair, now uncharacteristically limp and lifeless. “Besides,” she added, coaxing Kara into a sitting position, waiting until she had Kara’s gaze to continue speaking. “I will happily wait for you every night for the rest of my life. I may be asleep by the time you get home, but I’ll always leave a light on for you.”

Kara suddenly came to life, surging forward and capturing Cat’s lips with her own. She was trembling and desperate, still crying even as she pressed frantically against Cat’s mouth. 

Cat kissed her back. Of course she did. She would give Kara anything, do anything for her, especially at times like these, when Kara needed her most. Cat knew that as much as Kara was heroic, or sunny, she was also this. She was lost, a refugee searching for a home that no longer existed. And while Cat was Kara’s home now, she knew that there would always be a piece of Kara seeking all that had been taken from her.

Kara broke their kiss, burying her head in the crook of Cat’s neck with a whimper. “I can’t even be strong for you.” She descended into sobs again.

Cat kissed the top of Kara’s head, finally letting a few hot tears spring from her eyes. “Kara you never have to be strong for me. Let me be strong for you. It’s your job to protect the planet, and it’s mine to protect you, my love.”

Kara clutched at Cat’s back, nearly ripping the fabric of Cat’s blouse.

“Ok, come on,” Cat stood, urging Kara to do so as well with a tug on her arm. She quickly began to shed her clothes.

“W-what are you doing?” Kara asked, rising to full height.

“We’re taking a shower,” she said, shedding her lace bra and panties. She then divested Kara of her underwear, tossing them on the pile where Cat’s designer clothes mingled with Kara’s suit.

Cat turned the shower on, letting the water get as hot as she’d be able to stand. Even aliens with superhealing capabilities stored tension in their muscles, and she knew the near-scalding temperature would do wonders to soothe Kara. Cat stepped into the shower, pulling Kara with her. It was large, and tiled with shimmering imported glass. The showerhead was enormous and released a deluge that enveloped them both.

Kara gasped when the water hit her skin, and as it began to take effect she leaned heavily into Cat, who simply allowed herself to be pressed into the wall by Kara’s body. Cat ran her hands along the smooth planes of Kara’s back, noting how taut and tense her muscles still were.

For a few precious minutes, Cat just stood with her back pressed into the tile, holding Kara up, feeling her stuttering breathing against her own chest. Kara was quite heavy though, and Cat wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep holding her up. “My darling, can you stand up, please? You’re kind of squishing me.”

Kara leapt back when she heard that, repeatedly muttering “I’m sorry,” until Cat gripped Kara’s chin, almost roughly, forcing eye contact with the girl.

“Look at me.” Cat made sure Kara was focused entirely on her before she continued. “Do. Not. Apologize.” She let go of Kara’s chin, moving her hand to cup the side of Kara’s face gently. “You have nothing to be sorry about,” Cat whispered, pressing a soft kiss to Kara’s lips. “Ok?”

Kara nodded minutely.

“Ok. I’m glad that’s settled,” Cat said, reaching for a bottle of shampoo. “I’m going to wash your hair now, ok, Kara?” 

When Kara nodded, Cat poured shampoo into her palm and began to gently massage it into Kara’s hair, pulling out a few more sticks as she ran her fingers along Kara’s scalp. She could feel Kara relaxing into her touch, was so relieved to see her face finally slacken from the anguished expression she’d been holding for so long. 

Cat worked the lather through Kara’s dark golden tresses, shocked by just how dirty they were. When she felt she’d done an adequate job, she moved Kara under the spray from the shower head, running her hands through Kara’s hair as the water washed all the soap and grime away. After Cat was thoroughly convinced that Kara’s hair was clean, she applied conditioner, making sure to take her time to pull Kara further into the sensation of her touch.

When Cat was done with Kara’s hair, she took a sponge and poured fragrant soap onto it. The scent of jasmine and bergamot flooded the enclosed space of the shower. She heard Kara release a heavy sigh, and smiled, knowing how comforting the scent of her soap was to Kara.

“Turn around, my love,” Cat said softly, giving Kara’s shoulder a gentle push. Cat drew in a deep breath as Kara turned. Her back was so exquisite, her muscles perfectly defined. The way the thick bands of muscle wrapped over her shoulder blades and down to her ribcage always caused a hitch in Cat’s breath.

She moved the sponge over Kara’s back, almost roughly, applying what would be a painful amount of pressure were Kara a human. Cat knew the sensation would calm Kara further. As she moved downward, digging her fingers into Kara’s skin as she went, she felt Kara start to heave with sobs again. Cat quickly bent to run the sponge over the firm globes of Kara’s ass, and down her equally firm and toned legs, and when she was done she stood and spun Kara around, directing her to lean back against the tile.

Cat moved in close, pressing her diminutive body against Kara’s much larger, more solid form. “I’m here, my love,” Cat whispered, “and it’s ok to cry. Cry as much as you need to.” 

Kara took those words to heart, apparently, because heavy sobs began to rack her body. Cat continued to bathe her, first washing her face, murmuring sweet endearments to her as she moved along. Gently but firmly, she ran the sponge down the lengths of Karas arms, stopping at her hands to kiss her fingers. She washed down her chest and the plane of Kara’s stomach, over her beautifully toned abs, and down her legs. As Cat slowly moved back up Kara began to whine.

Cat stood. “What’s wrong, my darling?” she asked, kissing the side of Kara’s face.

“Cat, I…” Kara’s words disintegrated into a sob, and she looked Cat in the eye, briefly, too bashful to hold her gaze for too long. “I  _ need _ you.”

Cat knew exactly what she meant. Kara needed a physical connection, an anchor. She needed to feel Cat on her and in her and all around her. She needed her world to shrink, if only for a moment, until it was just Cat’s mouth on her body and Cat’s fingers inside her. This Cat would gladly provide. Kara was not the only one who needed the reassurance only reconsecration of their bond could provide.

Softly and almost painfully slowly, Cat kissed Kara. “I saw you today,” she said. “You were so brave. You did so good, my good girl. You saved so many people.”

Kara let out a strangled breath, mostly a sob, but Cat could feel her trying to relax. 

She continued. “You’re our hero, did you know that, my beautiful girl? So many people owe you their lives. including me. Think of all the times you’ve saved me.” Cat kissed her way down to Kara’s neck, biting and sucking at her pulse point. Kara responded with a gasp, and when Cat moved her hand down Kara’s chest to press her thumb into an aching nipple, she let out a sharp cry. 

“That’s it, my darling,” Cat murmured against the shell of Kara’s ear, “you’re doing so well.” Cat rolled Kara’s nipple between her fingers, swallowing Kara’s next cry with a possessive kiss. Cat lavished attention onto Kara’s breasts, teasing the soft flesh with her fingers, coaxing Kara’s nipples erect. 

Cat bent down and pulled Kara’s nipples into her mouth each in turn, sucking and teasing them with her tongue, biting them ever so carefully. Kara began to squirm, whining and canting her hips forward. 

Cat released Kara’s nipple with a pop. “My perfect girl,” she said. She stroked Kara’s hair, smiling warmly up at her. Cat slotted a thigh between Kara’s legs, pressing their hips together. She cupped the side of Kara’s face and looked into her ridiculously blue eyes. “Are you ready?” she asked.

Kara nodded, showing Cat a weak, watery smile. It was a small change, but it was enough for Cat. That slight, almost nonexistent uptick at the corners of Kara’s mouth meant that she was finally, finally starting to come out of her darkness, and it was a glimmer of Kara’s radiant light that Cat gladly latched onto.

Cat moved her hand slowly down Kara’s body, splaying her fingers over her twitching ab muscles. When Cat reached her pubic thatch Kara gasped, her body beginning to tremble. Cat ran her fingers through the impossibly soft curls, relishing the way it made Kara whimper. “You are so beautiful. My shining, golden girl,” she said, pressing her lips to Kara’s, requesting entrance to her mouth with her tongue. 

Kara opened herself to Cat, accepting her tongue with a low moan. Cat licked into Kara’s mouth, moving slowly, teasingly, coaxing Kara into taking the lead, and when she finally did Cat couldn’t help but smile. Kara kissed Cat fervently, sucking on her tongue, biting at her bottom lip, not stopping until Cat broke away for air. 

Panting, Cat pressed a final kiss to Kara’s mouth and brought their foreheads together. She slipped her fingers into Kara’s folds, avoiding her clit at first, simply rubbing up and down, as Kara began to roll her hips forward. 

“Breathe, my love,” Cat said, and she finally connected with Kara’s clit. 

Kara moaned at the touch, the hard bundle of nerves of her clit throbbing against Cat’s fingers. She clutched at Cat’s back, pulling her closer. “Cat,  _ please _ ,” she entreated, her forehead still pressed to Cat’s.

Cat placed two fingers at Kara’s entrance. “I love you,” she said as she pressed inside, “so much.” Cat almost gasped feeling Kara hot and wet around her fingers, but she captured Kara’s mouth instead, muffling both of their cries, as she pulled out of Kara’s sex and plunged back in.

Kara threw her head back against the tile, eyes fluttering shut, chest heaving with uneven breaths. They built up a slow and steady rhythm, Cat thrusting into Kara and rubbing her clit with her thumb, Kara grinding her hips forward, pushing herself onto Cat’s fingers. 

“My precious alien,” Cat muttered, beginning to thrust more forcefully as Kara’s keening grew louder. “You are too good for this world.” Cat kissed her. “We don’t deserve you.” Another kiss, punctuated by a hooked finger rubbing against the spongy ridge of Kara’s inner wall. “But we are so very lucky to have you.” Cat could feel the moan bubbling up from Kara’s throat and she greedily swallowed it, never stopping her ministrations, fingers encased in Kara’s heat, thumb circling over her clit. 

It finally seemed to be too much for Kara, who threw her shoulders back against the tile with such force it cracked. Kara’s cries began to merge together into one stammering moan that finally broke as she came with a strangled sob, slumping down onto Cat, her body still being rocked by aftershocks. 

Cat waited for Kara to still before removing her fingers and maneuvering her out of the shower to prop her against the bathroom counter. She stroked Kara’s hair and the side of her face, kissing her chastely before she reached for a plush, soft towel. 

“I’m going to dry us off, my darling, and then we’re going to go to bed. Is that okay?”

Kara nodded, allowing Cat to run the towel along her skin and pat some of the water out of her hair. Cat moved to do the same to herself but Kara stopped her with a hand over her wrist.

“Let me do it?”

“Of course,” Cat said gently, relieved to see Kara coming back to herself even more. She gave over the towel.

Kara took her time with Cat, starting by squeezing the water out of her hair, then moving slowly downwards over her shoulders, rubbing gently. When she was done, she kissed the top of Cat’s head, dropping the towel on the floor and linking their hands together. She pulled Cat into the bedroom, stopping to kiss her gently.

Cat slipped into the bed first, opening her arms to Kara, who crawled in after her. Kara moved into Cat’s embrace, slotting their legs together and resting her head on Cat’s chest with a contented sigh. She wrapped her arms around Cat’s waist and pulled her close.

After a long quiet moment, Kara broke the silence. “Am I hard to love?” she asked, almost too softly for Cat to hear.

“Oh, my ridiculous girl, no,” Cat said, lifting Kara’s head up and placing tender kisses against her lips. “It’s the easiest thing in the world to love you.” Cat held Kara’s face in her hands, looking into her eyes. “Why would you ask something like that?”

“It’s just…” Kara sniffled, “I have a lot of baggage, you know, and I get in these moods, and, and… I’m always flying off and putting myself in danger, and I just... I don’t understand how you could love me.” She let out a hitched breath.

“Kara,” Cat said, pressing her fingertips into the sides the girl’s face. “Kara Zor-El listen to me. You are strong and brave and compassionate and kind. You are infinitely lovable, and I love you more than I can even begin to explain.” Cat stopped to kiss Kara softly. “You are the sun, the moon, and every star in my sky. You may not believe that, but I will spend every day of the rest of my life trying to prove it to you.”

Tears bloomed in Kara’s eyes, and Cat quickly kissed them away. “I would do anything for you, my love,” she whispered against Kara’s skin, “all you have to do is ask.”

“Well,” Kara hesitated for moment, “could you just keep holding me for a while?”

Cat laughed softly, pulling Kara closer, until they were flush together, skin against skin, not even the air to separate them. They were truly entwined, and Cat could feel the strong, steady rhythm of Kara’s breathing against her chest. 

“I would love nothing more.”

**Author's Note:**

> I did listen to Adele's cover of "Make You Feel My Love" repeatedly while writing this. I feel like it fits them.
> 
> Also, any comments or kudos are very much appreciated. They really do help me stay motivated.


End file.
